Part 1: Design and Fear
The influence by thrillers and sci-fi films has brought fierceness into my design, with combining elements of balance and abstract objects together which becomes my desired style. Attaching stories into art also appeal to me because I believe that storytelling has power that connects people.
Currently I’m working on a final project for my Experimental Interaction class, and I try to combine what I mention above into my design.
Living species in the planet/space are curious and pay the same respect I’m curious on them. The theme for my final project is alien fishes invading earth. I guess I’m not speaking foreign language here. I’ve been obsessed with mysterious objects and I like surrealism so this sketch combines mystery and surreal environment in it.
I think different degree of fear lives inside individuals with various forms, so the objects in the project present one of the kind that we worry will dominate our reality. In other words, the alien fishes are the symbol of the anxiety that we have and the isolated feeling we concern will take over us.
In the sketch, the eyes looking around (keep pressing mouse) while the environment keeps changing, and you feel like it’s difficult to control where the fishes coming out from, with what kind of physical appearance they might be.
Personally I don’t believe in ghost or aliens(not yet), but I think they come out as a representative of inner fear people have unconsciously but don’t know how to describe it.
For this project it’s a little tricky to control since it’s “describing” fear, so there’s instruction guide for that thing-
- move the mouse to change environment (it might come out totally dark!)
- press the mouse to switch color/shape of the crowd things
- hold and drag the mouse to take control of the movement of the eyes, and add more playful little things
After knowing all the operation matter, you still can’t totally control your fear.
For the inner fear that lives inside us, our anxiety slowly raises up when the little things increase in numbers and extend by distance while the whole pattern getting bigger gradually until it totally covers the whole sketch(world). In deed, we all freak out when we can’t control what is inside us and what will increase by size and take over and wipe up all our positive feelings. Or our anxiety tells us that we won’t be able to be ourselves after all while that we assume are negative energy blocks our version of seeing the world. That might be where the post-apocalyptic films come from, the dystopian society idea comes out from the fear of the darkness gradually taking over our reality, where the human race got to find a way to fight and survive.
Let’s start from anther topic to explore the subject of fear.
Part 2: Confession of a crap artist
Everything starts out with a question – What if the subject that comes out under my pen doesn’t compose itself aesthetically? What if it doesn’t make sense? Sometime I wonder, maybe many people experience that once a while. If we have doubt about whether we are becoming one of the character we are passionate about, will we continue doing what we have been doing?
I landed in different places in my last fifteen years, and my journey began writing itself while I was pretty much and cause-effect consequence. Then I wonder what my real identity is. People from two sides unconsciously judge me from their land while I have my own standpoint from two perspectives, but they aren’t aware of themselves are from two sides and I’m in the middle. Many of them want a simulation, which is before they want to draw connection to you and they need you to look like them at lease please pretend to look like them.
I’m a floating object, having many interests with impulsive obsession (means obsession increased in a fast speed) but none of those lasts long (means I hold only short attention on each one). It reminds me Philip K dick’s character Jack who has obsessive compulsive disorder in Confession of a Crap Artist. We are not exactly the same but could draw a line between us. At least from other people’s eyes we are both a comedian, and a character that doesn’t get things and causes trouble. At least when we like to spread the apocalyptic notion, we tell the truth that might hurt people, and from many people’s mind we are sort of being idiotic without having the ability to conceal what we see or what we think.
I have dreamed about being a writer since I was a kid. However getting stuck in two cultures hinders me being really skillful on either language. Feeling out of sync is like being normal in my life. However it could be a good thing because I appreciate what I’ve gained from both cultures and that makes me have different interpretation on things. After that we can’t really control how people look at us, but we could take control what’s in us.
Being silly is not necessary a bad thing. That’s where my nickname “goofball” came from. Just smile at everything that’s in front of you and be aware of there’s nothing we can’t conquer, it’s just a matter of time. Fear could be a smog it comes to freeze our nerve but it will be gone for the next moment, all depends on how we deal with it. It might be still there, but who doesn’t have it? Embrace it until you include/welcome it as part of you and take back yourselves as a whole. And by starting a different journey in different places could help a lot for embracing your fear, to accept who you are.
There’s no ghost only your fear is playing with you.